Every Saturday morning there is a well-choreographed ballet that occurs in your Park Ridge neighbourhood. As if in a planned progression, the rapid-fire sound of lawn mowers firing up occurs. Some start immediately on the first pull; some don’t. There is always that one rattle trap that belches blue smoke and requires several machinations from its owner, often accompanied by colourful language. Once they are all running and there is a steady rhythm of homeowners walking back and forth across their beloved grass, you can almost hear those powerful stanzas of “The Ride of the Valkyries” while this serious business is attended to with the precision and intensity of open heart surgery.
Some homeowners are pushing feverishly at their beasts of burden, while others walk behind their self-propelled models. There is a quiet admiration and nod of acknowledgement to the winner of this unspoken contest, the one who finished first and with a sly grin, surveys those still toiling away. This ritual has been lived out for as long as the existence of the weekend. It is likely that it predates the invention of the internal combustion engine, to a time when it played out with whirling rotary blades as dull as butter knives.
In your neighbourhood, this ends now! Checkmate! You win! Tomorrow, for the first time, you roll out that shiny new red ride on mower in Park Ridge. You just took delivery from Bethania Mowers today. That glorious Rover Lawn King 20/42 with its powerful 20 horsepower Kohler 7000 Series V-Twin OHV engine. The 107cm cutting width will have your grass perfectly manicured by the time most of the other engines are warmed up. The other grass cutters will stop and stare with their mouths agape, and you are quite confident that women will swoon. You will win this Saturday and every weekend after. All thanks to your new ride on mower in Park Ridge.